Jalousy is awesome!
Surprised? Not me 😉, keep reading as I debate why I think that way!
When you are jealous
I got a lot of questions for you, but I got zero judgments. Of course, if you behaved badly, your actions might have consequences and will need repair, but that's not what I'm focusing on. I think it's way more important to use that jealousy as a compass 🧭 for your soul first.
Are you willing to trade entire lives with that person, I mean ever-y-thing? Oftentimes, the answer would be no. Good news 🎉, that means that it is NOT personal, anyone else that has what you are jealous of, you will be jealous of. It is completely natural! So I want to say that I am with you, big hugs! 🤗.
So, moving forwards, the REAL question would be:
What are you jealous of exactly?
Most common stuff people are jealous of are very superficial in appearance, but deep in meaning. Here's some examples:
| Surface Reason | Deep Reason |
|---|---|
| Feeling threatened in romantic relationships | Insecurity about worthiness or fear of abandonment |
| Envy towards others' achievements and success | Inadequacy or feeling a lack of accomplishment |
| Envy towards others' social status and popularity | Insecurity about social skills or fear of rejection |
| Envy towards others' physical appearance | Insecurity about body image or self-esteem issues |
| Jealousy towards others' talents and skills | Insecurity about own abilities or potential |
I think it's awesome to be jealous, because when you find out the deep reason for it, you can feel EMPOWERED 💪 to work towards improving yourself!
However, beware of the possible feelings of shame, guilt, powerlessness and other kind of feels that can stop you in your track.
It might help to talk to a professional, or even any online tool such as AI nowadays, to gain perspective. Hell, even I do it, and sometimes, it helps.
The most damaging thing you can do for yourself or anyone else around you, is to repress or avoid that feeling. It is totally a human thing to feel jealousy. It exists for a reason, and we wouldn't have evolved without it 😉.
When someone else is jealous
Jealousy itself might mean that you are doing something right, that you somehow have something worth being envied of. Most of the time though, this means more about who the other person is. With that being said, I interpret this as an excellent way to assert whether the person is trustable or not.
It does not mean that when a person is jealous, she/he is not to be trusted. It means that trust comes from how the other person behaves with that feeling. And in what way that person will try to repair or not their own actions inherent to jealousy.
I advise giving space for that person to develop with their own emotions and giving them a chance to deal with it.
Being envied is something pleasant as it can trigger your serotonin and dopamine production, because it heightens your social status and self-confidence. However, you can also have associated it negatively, triggering stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.
It would be a good time to evaluate how previous experiences of jealousy towards you affect you, and how trust plays out throughout all this.
While jealousy typically has negative connotations, I say that it can also serve as a positive catalyst for personal growth, motivation, and social bonding 🛠️.
Thank you for your courage and patience!
I wish you well 🌸 and hope to see you again ☀️